19 Dec

So, as some of you know, I just use this website to vent. That’s why I try not to write too much too often. I know ya’ll have a lot going on too and don’t need someone who is always so bogged down. Honestly, if ya’ll met me in person, I would be completely different.  I don’t like being anything but happy; however, I’m not one who can ignore my feelings. So, I let them out here. No one that I know in the real world will know. I can just tell ya’ll and move on with my life. No judgement. 😀

Moving on to the subject at hand. I am so very sick and tired of people being so judgmental, haughty, hypocritical, and just down right arrogant. With that being said, FLASHBACK: Back in the Summer when “Magic Mike” came out, we talked about it in my Sunday school class. To set the stage for you, my Sunday school class consist of: my best friend from high school (who has a 17 year old younger sister), her fiance, her mother (Sunday school teacher), and 3 other girls I went to high school with who are all 1-2 years younger than I. The Sunday school teacher brings up the fact that “Magic Mike” came out this weekend and how it is so ungodly. She said this,” My 17 year old daughter asked if she could go see it and I told her to take it up with her dad. He told her that she is old enough to make her own decisions and if she wouldn’t have a guilty conscience about it then by all means go.” Needless to say, she went. She didn’t feel bad for it either. Anyhow, later on that week, the younger sister of my best friend and I are going from church to her house to get money so we can go out to eat with her sister (and fiance) and a young couple from church. Anyhow we’re riding down the road and she begins the topic of “Magic Mike.” I tell her what her mom and sister said in our Sunday school class. She said, “Shelby, that’s bull because she and my aunt both want to go see it.” This shocked me. I told her, “If they really want to make that big a deal about it, then why didn’t she make that big a deal about you and your sister reading/watching Harry Potter. Side note(If you like Harry Potter that’s fine. I’m just saying don’t say, “oh this is so ungodly” when Harry Potter has been criticized since it came out on going against Christianity). Also, if you have read some of my other post, you’ve noticed that a year ago my dad passed away. Another side note( my dad was dying with cancer. His body all the way from his esophagus down to his stomach was covered in cancer. In his will, he had a DNR. He and my mom both always taught us growing up that when it’s your time to go, there’s nothing you can do about it. If and when God wants you. He will call you. There’s no since in prolonging your suffering here and costing ya’ll more money just to look at our dead body a little while longer. So, whenever he was lying in that hospital bed and his body was shutting down and all his monitors were going off signaling to the doctors that he was dying and now was the time they needed to perform CPR, they couldn’t because he had a DNR). Also, that same day over the Summer in Sunday school class (My dad not even being dead a year), my “best friend” made the statement to the whole class that “if you have a DNR you’re going to hell. There is no way that you’re getting into Heaven.” It took everything I had within me plus all the power of the good Lord above not to beat the mortal hell out of that selfish bitch. Well, that and plus I had to keep telling myself, “Shelby, this is not your house. You’re in God’s house.” I started tearing up because I was so pissed off. If you believe that, that’s fine. Believe what you want. That’s your God-given right. But: 1. Who are you to say who goes to Heaven and who goes to hell? Since when did Jesus die and God make you Jesusa 2.What kind of person says that in front of their “best friend” right after their dad has died? 3. Are you socially and emotionally stunted?  I just put all of these incidents behind me telling myself that I was just being too sensitive and self-centered. This wasn’t the beginning. Over the Summer, I would ask her to hang out at my house and she would come up with the excuse, “Well, I don’t know if I can. I’m just so incredibly busy planning the wedding and all that I just don’t have time anymore.” That’s understandable. But, at this point and time, her wedding was 13 months away. What in the crap are you planning? I mean, if you don’t want to hang out, that’s cool. 1. Be mature enough to say it. 2. The least you could do would be to come up with a much better excuse. So, over the Summer, I endured the awkwardness of going to church and her not talking to me. Which kinda sucked because she’s really the only one there I feel comfortable around. In August, school started back and I was so incredibly happy. With the way my school load and workload are, when I’m at school I either don’t have the money, or don’t have the time to come home. So it’s nothing for me to not come home for 2 or 3 months. Even though I don’t come home as often, my “best friend” and I still text/call one another to catch up or see if we need to pray harder, pray for something specific, or just to vent. This semester, we sent 1 message. 1. and that was me texting her first just to send an uplifting message which was fairly lengthy, I might add . She text back, “Thanks praying for you too.” And that’s it. I decided then and there that was it. I wasn’t going to text her anymore. If she needed me she had my number. Needless to say, I haven’t heard from her since.  FLASHBACK: In high school, one of my other friends and me were really into country music (still are) and my “best friend” would always tease us about country music and the cowboy boots and the whole country ordeal. Matter of fact, a year ago this Summer, some members of our church and me went on a mission trip to New Orleans. A guy and I were talking and he asked what my favorite music was and I said country. He made a face and made his voice sound really country and imitated a country singer and said,” my dog died and my girl left me for another man.” Making fun of the overarching theme of country music. He then said, I can’t stand country music. My “best friend” then said, “yeah, me either.” Which is fine. As stated above, you are entitled to your own opinion. I laughed at what he said and we kept on talking about music. PRESENT: Tell me why this heifer is all into country stuff now. Tric even owns a pair of cowboy boots. Whiplash! I could’ve sworn that you were just making fun of me for being into all of those things. I tell you all these things to tell you this, my mom called me today and informed me that her (my “best friend”) mom just lost her job because she was stealing money from her employer. So let me get this straight, you’re sitting all high and mighty on your horse looking down on me because I drink, I watched “Magic Mike,” I listen to “secular” music, I cuss when I get extremely mad or frustrated, I’m not married, engaged to be married, nor do I have a boyfriend, I don’t attend church every Sunday, and when I’m home I don’t go to your church I go to church with my mom.  You’re looking down on me because of all that. I beg you’re freaking pardon. I understand everyone makes mistakes, but who are you to judge me? I drink to help de-stress. I don’t get drunk. I watched “Magic Mike” big freaking deal.  I listen to “secular” music. Alright, since when is that a sin? I cuss, I will admit that I do need to work on that. Cussing when I get mad is not an excuse. I don’t need to cuss at all. I’m not married, engaged to be married, nor do I have a boyfriend. I’m 21 years old. I have the rest of my life to be an adult. Right now, I’m in college! I can do pretty much anything I want and don’t have  a boyfriend blowing up my phone wondering where I am and why haven’t I texted him. I don’t have to answer to anyone except God. Tell me how that’s bad. And I don’t attend church every Sunday. Sorry I have to make a living and that the church I feel most comfortable attending is in my home town. Sorry, I don’t go to your hypocritical church where 90% of the congregation thinks they’re the only ones who are getting into heaven. Yes, cause we can see how well that has worked out for you and your family! Then, about a month ago, they had a get-together at their house. It was our Sunday school class and our new choir director his wife and their son. I get there and my “best friend” says two words to me. That’s it. I mean, you’d figure that if you’re best friends with someone and you haven’t seen them in 2 or so months, you’d be a little more excited to see them. It was so bad, I sat on the couch and texted my roommate the entire 45 minutes I was there. No one talked to me. I get up and go outside  to talk to her mom, our choir director’s wife, and another girl. I’m standing out there for 5 or so minutes when she comes out. She sits down and starts talking about her last semester of college. She’s talking to the girl who is a year younger than we are and she says,”Yeah, I can’t wait to get my last semester of college over with. I’m taking a master’s level course and I’m so very excited. Only few students get to take a master’s level course while they’re still an undergrad. Taking a master’s level course is just gonna be so awesome. It’s gonna be difficult; but, I’m excited!” She just goes on and on about how she’s an undergrad taking a master level course. I’m standing there thinking to myself, ” I took a master level linguistics course when I was a sophomore. It’s really not that big a deal! Yeah it’s difficult, but don’t act like you’re such a prodigy when it happens to college students all the time. Taking a master level course when you’re an undergrad is not a sign of how smart you are. It’s just a sign that not many undergrads have to have it so they offer it as a master level course so they can get more students into the classroom. More bang for your buck, so-to-speak.” After this, I turned to her mom, thanked her for inviting me, and told her that I had a wonderful time. She asked me if I was going to be at church in the morning and I told her no. She got in my face (I don’t know if it was because it was dark and she wanted to see my face or what) and said, “why not!” I took a step back and said, “Because, I’m going to church with my mom.” She said, “Well, okay then. I’ll see you later.”   So I left and haven’t seen them since. Like I said, my mom just told me today about her mom losing her job because she was stealing. I just sit here and can’t really believe it, but at the same time, I can. I don’t know. Whatever. I’m just tired of them being fake to me. Either you like me or you don’t. Don’t smile at me, give me a hug, while treating me so coldly. It’s just stupid and immature!

I don’t mean to sound so hateful, judgmental, and immature. Honestly, I know everyone makes mistakes. I’m just tired of people saying one thing with their mouth and doing something completely different with themselves. I mean, I myself have done this. However, I try really hard not to get on a high horse and think my crap doesn’t stink. I’m so sick and tired of man’s doctrine being put on religion. I think that if we did “What thus sayeth the Lord” then the world would be better off.

Don’t Get Too Close To The Fire; Your Plastic Will Melt!


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